In your relationship with one another, have the same mindset as King Jesus.

Three Ingredients

A Confession

A Posture

A Rule

James 3:13-14NIV – “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”

James 3:16 NIV – “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

James 4:2 NIV – “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covert but cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

A Confession:

The real problem is… I’m not getting what I want

James 3:13 NIV – “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

Philippians 2:5-6 NIV – “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;”

Wanna know what part of the problem is? I’m not getting what I want.

Discussion Questions

1. When angry, do you lash out or shut down?

2. Think about a recent conflict or ongoing tension in your life. What did you initially believe was the source of the problem?

3. Read James 4:1-2 aloud

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.”

What stands out to you about how desire leads to conflict?

4. James keeps repeating the idea that “you aren’t getting what you want.” Why is that such a difficult thing to admit in the moment?

5. Where in your life do you feel most easily triggered right now?

6. What would help you remember to prepare ahead of time or pause in the moment to recognize the source of your anger?